How NOT To Wear Your Sunglasses

by Mark Ferguson on September 21, 2011

It won’t come as a sur­prise to you, that after rid­ing the Amy Gil­lett Gran Fondo on Sunday and the Gen­ov­ese Kinglake Ride last week, there were some — let us say — begin­ners, amongst the crowd.

A com­mon trend, besides hel­mets being worn back­wards, on the side of heads — in many cases resem­bling a hor­rendous tumour, was poor sun­glass choice and pos­i­tion­ing of sunglasses.

This is a subtle — but import­ant topic, and needs to be dis­cussed. Like an ele­phant in the room — let me intro­duce you.

As I’m some­what a self labelled fash­ionista of the cyc­ling fra­tern­ity, I take it upon myself to share some insight into how things should be done.

Sunglasses under the hel­met straps… Nup. Ride ten lengths behind me please.

Sunglasses over hel­met straps… You can be my wing­man anytime.

Sunglasses choice is a fun­da­mental require­ment. Leave the avi­at­ors for Sunday arvo ses­sions at the pub or vol­ley­ball hit-outs with fel­low metro-sexual’s.

Finally, weld­ing sunglasses or any sunglasses that vir­tu­ally cover your entire face are unac­cept­able rid­ing attire and you will be mocked — most likely from afar.

Next Wed­nes­day — How NOT To Wear Your Helmet.

I didn’t real­ize there were so many places to lodge your hel­met. We’ll look at how it should and shouldn’t be done.

Model : proper GLC Cameron Buss

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  • http://www.realistic-dinosaurs.com Animat­ronic Dinosaurs

     
    I think
    most people would do the same when they are headed with the situation.

  • Matt_tognini

    Gday Fergy, By your estim­a­tion, one Edmund Hol­lunds would be con­sidered a gumby!!!!

  • http://www.cyclingmaven.com/ Cyc­ling Maven

    Rid­ing away from every­one whilst wear­ing avi­at­ors, tucked under your straps is a whole new class of Gumby.

  • http://gplama.blogspot.com GPLama

    Yes yes yes. Top post! Love it.

  • Matty Kaplan

    Ha!  I’m what they call a ‘recre­ational rider’.  It would be remiss of me to even use the word ‘cyclist’.  

    How­ever I am all for image advice so if this is a vital piece of inform­a­tion to know before I go out for a sunday ride in the future — con­sider it duly noted!

    As usual I love your work Maven.

  • http://twitter.com/nickorloff Nick Orloff

    Are you going to cover that other burn­ing issue … how to cor­rectly poke your glasses into your helmet??

  • http://www.cyclingmaven.com/ Cyc­ling Maven

    Nick great point mate. This was hotly dis­cussed dur­ing the pro­duc­tion of the photo’s but I’ll leave it for another Wednesday. 

    I’ve decided there’s so many, Wed­nes­day posts are going to be ded­ic­ated to the cause. Lets make every­one awesome. 

  • http://www.cyclingmaven.com/ Cyc­ling Maven

    Straight back at ya Mr Brave. 

  • http://twitter.com/jxpphotography Jar­rod Partridge

    With sum­mer com­ing up and the winter kit going into the ward­robe, can you post about what kit is acceptable?

    Wiggle tempts me to buy Leopard-Trek knicks, but my gut feel says that unless earned, Pro gear shouldn’t be worn by hacks.

    Help me Maven!

  • http://www.cyclingmaven.com/ Cyc­ling Maven

    Jar­rod, reluct­antly I need to be hon­est. Nah, you’re in LUCK! keep read­ing Wed­nes­days brother — you’re gonna be lookin schmicko. 

    In the mean­time, black is slim­ming. Thats why I wear it. AND — don’t mix and match trade kits if you have them — thats a ride ten lengths behind me thing again… 

  • Jar­rod

    Ah, black, got it.

    Lucky I didn’t click to buy the Cipollini organ suit. I knew there was some­thing wrong, but I couldn’t quite put my fin­ger on it.

    Even I know ‘Round The Bay’ and sim­ilar should never be worn under any cir­cum­stances, yet I see them regularly.

    Clearly there’s a lot of people who need your services…

  • Mkat­sour­anis

    Fergy,
    Tell me… Why is this such a prob­lem!? Why is there a difference!?

    Maria

  • Mkat­sour­anis

    A cyc­ling faux pas????

  • Gk

    Yeah you’re right. It makes you look so cool.…see the image below.

  • http://www.cyclingmaven.com/ Cyc­ling Maven

    It’s a bit like us lads wear­ing ankle socks in the gym chick… it’s just… hmmm… not right. 

  • http://www.cyclingmaven.com/ Cyc­ling Maven

    hahaha.. love it. 

  • http://twitter.com/Euan_B Euan

    Pre­scrip­tion sun­nies here, they’re stay­ing on when the hel­met comes off so over the straps makes no sense.

  • http://www.cyclingmaven.com/ Cyc­ling Maven

    So long as they’re not avi­at­ors, we’re all cool. 

  • Tym Lang

    i always wear my glasses over the straps and i’ve recently mastered the tak­ing your hel­met off while leav­ing the glasses on while. its a del­ic­ate tech­nique of hel­met removal that when done prop­erly jostles the glasses only slightly. prac­tice it, and you will look like a Pro head­ing to the cof­fee shop, and even more once you are there with your ninja hel­met removal skills.

  • Tym Lang

    it looks dumb as hell.

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