Bunnings Is Not A Bike Shop!

It’s come to my atten­tion that there’s an increas­ing num­ber of cyc­lists, who are try­ing to look like big­ger dick­heads than they already look.

As if the over­sized jer­seys, hel­mets on side­ways, sunglasses fit for life on the sun aren’t bad enough — could it get any worse?

The answer is YES!

Swoop­ing killer, psy­cho mag­pies or not, this is an unac­cept­able hel­met modi­fic­a­tion! No item of cyc­ling attire should EVER come from Bun­nings or any hard­ware store!

Are you hon­estly going to tell me that the hel­met and sug­lasses — that you’re already wear­ing — isn’t adequate enough pro­tec­tion from swoop­ing magpies.

Now hear this.

“Adding five gazil­lion cable ties to your hel­met DOESN’T DETER MAGPIES! It makes you look ridicu­lous!!”

And when you look ridicu­lous — WE look ridiculous.

When Magda Szubanski goes on another rant, she’s gonna tar you and I with the same brush and not even a double cheese bur­ger is gonna sway her.

Case in point — The fol­low­ing photo is a per­fect example of how Mag­pies don’t give a shit about cable ties. Not even fluor­es­cent ones.

They laugh at them. They see them as bug and but­ter­fly shish kabobs — a source of food and enter­tain­ment, even car­ry­ing out ear­wax inspec­tions as a means of passing time.

I even tried to get Bussy to make this shit look sexy…

Almost!

This post is a call-to-arms my friends. Every time one of these punters throws a leg over the bike, 500+ motor­ists get a laugh on the way to work at our expense.

Make The Pain Stop

If you have a friend who’s taken these dread­ful meas­ures — talk to them. Send them here — get them help NOW.

If they refuse — shun them. Abort text them five minutes before the ride or put them in the hurt house every­where you go. Leave them on the front, in the gut­ter, hangin’ on the wheel.

We - together, need to erad­ic­ate what appears to be a epi­demic amongst our fraternity.

I’ll leave you with this to think about.

Two thumbs down my Endura sponsored friend.

UPDATE: Little Oscar shows how to HTFU minus the ties. 

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